rusalkii: (Default)
 Easy admin tasks, busy work, and work that I can break down into small discrete chunks tends to get done much faster if I set aside time to do it with someone. This seems to be things in the "just do it" category. Just make that call, just ask that question, just check up on something, just finish a problem on this worksheet. Not saying these are necessarily trivial tasks, but the presence of someone else and a concrete time to do them removes much of the difficulties I have with making myself do them. On the other hand, more involved work seems to benefit little to not at all from coworking. Trying to make myself write an essay, review math concepts, or compose cover letters in front of people just doesn't seem to work. I think - though I'm not certain - that it's because I'm enough of an introvert that having other people around is a mental strain. Some part of my brain is occupied with tracking the people present and the things they're doing and what they might be thinking of me and ugh ugh ugh why I can't I do this. Does this seem like a plausible mechanism? Do any of you have it?

(Please admire my self-control in not positing "maybe I'm just lazy and can't do anything significant without deadlines hanging over my head". I don't actually believe that, I think, but it's amazing how quickly it comes back as a recurring thought now that I'm not in an environment where I am consistency getting low-level feedback that I am succeeding at the tasks that are actually important.)
(College is very good for me but I'm slightly afraid it's messing with my rewards structure.)

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rusalkii

January 2019

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